Research has revealed that 96% of people have sexual fantasies. By far the most popular fantasy is having a threesome, and most people first say their ultimate sexual craving stemmed from watching porn.
A ground-breaking two year survey of 4,175 people has revealed what Brits REALLY want in bed, from domination to partner sharing. The poll, carried out by Dr Justin Lehmiller, analysed people’s sexual appetites and history, and had some interesting findings.
A threesome, in all its variations, topped the list, with 89% of participants confessing to fantasising about them, and heterosexual women were more likely than men to fantasise about a same-sex experience.
Dr Lehmiller, sex and psychology researcher at the Kinsey Institute, said: “People who are more extroverted fantasise more about group sex and non-monogamy. And people who are introverted change themselves to be more extroverted in their fantasies.”
More than a quarter surveyed hailed BDSM as their favourite fantasy with 65% dreaming of submission and 60% about being dominant.
“Younger people are more attracted to BDSM because they have more sexual anxiety and insecurities. BDSM takes you out of your head and increases mindfulness.
S&M can take a lot of forms but bondage was the most popular. But it could also include sado-masochistic activities like spanking or biting.”
“Having adventurous sex was the third fantasy almost everybody had – whether it was a new position or a new setting or on an aeroplane.”
Sometimes people want to feel a thrill, which is why doing something taboo is a frequent sexual fantasy. Interested? Take a look at some of the weirdest places to have sex.
Have you ever looked at your best friend and their partner and wondered what it would be like to swap? You might have thought you were crazy, yet a huge 79% of men and 62% of women reported fantasising about partner sharing, and interestingly, 58% of men had daydreamed about watching their partners have sex with others.
Discussing your fantasies
If you read anything above and thought “That sounds like me!” it might be time to broach the subject with your partner. Some tips on how to make your dreams a reality:
- Research the subject – it will help you to know a bit about it and be sure it is something you are interested in.
- Broach the subject – bring it up when your partner is in a stress free mood and when you have time to discuss it freely.
- Set boundaries – if your partner is keen, discuss code words, limits and no-go areas.
- Take baby steps – there is no rush to be a dominatrix on day one, so whatever you agree on, take your time and get it right for both of you.
- Check in with each other – it’s only polite to make sure both of you are enjoying things in and out of the bedroom, and create a comfortable place where you can discuss your feelings openly.